World leaders met at the United Nations today to beg the United States to use military force to stem the ever-growing humanitarian disaster in Syria
quips
DuffleBlog's Dirk Diggler (thanks to
Sarah Hoyt),
knowing full well they will then turn around and blame the US shortly thereafter.
UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon said, “We call upon the world’s
greatest nation — the United States — to help bring peace to this
terrible civil war, because, fuck it, none of us want to.”
“And the best part is, when this whole thing goes to hell in a
handbasket — which, quite frankly, happens almost every time you
intervene in a multi-sided civil war in a God-forsaken third-world
country — none of us are responsible for it!” Ki-Moon added.
The “Blame America First” policy is a time-honored tradition in
international relations, dating back to the outrage over the US Air
Force’s targeted bombing campaign against the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia,
followed by consternation over America’s idleness while the same Khmer
Rouge murdered millions of their own countrymen.
“It’s pretty shameful, but hey, it got me a Pulitzer prize,” said
Sydney Schanberg, whose two-faced coverage of the war in Cambodia in
the New York Times inspired the Oscar-winning film, The Killing Fields.
“Amateurs tend to blame America first and then they’re done with it,”
said anti-war MIT Professor Noam Chomsky. “Just this past week, Vox’s
Amanda Taub blamed the U.S. for the entire Syrian Civil War instead of blaming, well, the Syrians themselves.”
“But that’s the type of ‘Blame America First’ coverage that gets you a
few thousand clicks at best,” Chomsky continued. “If you really want
Oscars, Pulitzers, and charity donations, you have to sucker the US into
intervening, then blame America!”
“Just look at Somalia: Send the U.S. military to help deal with a
famine, then, boom! A firefight, a downed Black Hawk helicopter, and
before you know it, a blockbuster movie from Michael Bay!” he concluded.
Read
the whole thing™
